My dear Gurudas,

Don't get discouraged or disheartened. Why should it be always sunshine and good times? Let Mother's will be done. Never mind sunshine or rain, we must not forget Mother at any time. Even if we don't see her, why should we lose heart? She appears again in our view. She knows what is best for us. Once we have given ourselves over to her, what right have we to think of ourselves again? It is not so easy to do as to say -- of that I am sure, but there is no other way out. Whether we see or don't see, Mother is our only place of rest. There are ups and downs in all hearts, but we should not give way to them.

Think not about yourself but only for others. That is renunciation, that is religion, that is all. Have you not given everything over to Mother? Why then think of yourself again? Never care for position. Give up all such ideas. Work is worship. Everything is in the life we live, not in position. Mother knows the heart and sees the heart and arranges things accordingly. Let your light so shine that everybody can see it. Let your work be silent and in secret and your Mother who sees in secret shall reward you openly.

Be strong! Don't give in to anything whatever. It is not good to be weak; the weak must go to the wall. This is the law of the world. But what you to do with the world anymore? Mother's child good or bad, weak or strong, you have no other to look up to but Mother! Others, who do not know, may think of temporal help. But you can never think that way, I am sure!

Pray for unflinching love and devotion and you will have everything.

There is no happiness in that which is finite; that which is finite is perishable. That which is universal is Blissfulness itself. [Chandogya Upanishad, VII.23.1, 24.1]

There is no world outside. It is what we project outside. But how difficult it is to understand this, and how much more difficult to remember it always, even after understanding it. we feel unhappy when we make ourselves small. We feel miserable when we think of ourselves as finite. That is the bane. Yet we forget and are in the whirlpool of Maya ever once again. But thanks to the grace of Mother, we remember it again soon. Know the universal! That is your real Self. May we never lose sight of this our real Self, which is the Self of all, our dear Mother, whose children we are.

#gurudas #lettersofswamituriyananda #mother #renunciation #spirituality

BABY DARLING, what is the very first thing you remember? Is it not lying on mother's lap, and looking up into her eyes, and laughing?

Did you ever play hide and seek with mother? Mother's eyes shut, and baby was not. She opened them, and there was baby! Then baby's eyes shut, and where was mother? But they opened again, and--oh!

When mother's eyes were shut, where was she? There all the time? But you could not see her eyes. Yet she was there.

Baby, some people think God is just like that. A great great Mother--so great that all this big world is Her baby. God is playing with Her world, and She shuts Her eyes. Then, all our lives long, baby darling, we try to catch the Great Mother peeping. And if any of us can do that, if any of us can look into the eyes of God, just once, just for a minute,--do you know what happens? . . . That person at once knows all secrets, and he becomes strong and wise and loving, and he never, never forgets that moment.

And when you win like that, when you catch the Mother looking, something else happens. Something lovely. All Her other children come and play with you. The little birds come, and the wee lambs love you, and the wild rabbits touch your feet, and the poor children in the streets, who are cold and hungry perhaps--poor children that the Great Mother loves most of all, because they seem to have no father or mother, and perhaps no home--poor children trust you, and make a place for you with them. We are all sitting on the Mother's lap, but these sit closest of all to Her breast.

And what do we call the Mother with Her eyes shut? We call her Kali.

Were you ever for a very few minutes, unhappy? And did mother, or nurse, or auntie, or someone else, come and pick you up, and love you, and kiss you, till you were not unhappy any more?

Sometimes God is like that too. We get so frightened because those eyes will not open. We want to stop the game. We don't like it. We feel alone, and far away and lost. Then we cry out. It has grown quite dark, and still the Mother's eyes are shut. Let us play no longer. So we feel some-times.

But the eyes are not shut, really. We think so, because it is dark all round. Just at that moment when you cried out, the beautiful eyes of the Mother opened and looked at Her child like two deep wells of love. And you, if you had seen, would have stopped playing all at once, and saying "Kali! Kali!" you would have hidden your little face on the Mother's shoulder, and listened to the beating of her heart instead!

And so, wee one, will you remember that the Great Mother Kali is everywhere? Even when the seems to be far away, it is only that you cannot see Her eyes. This mother goes away, and you cannot see her. But Kali is always there, always loving, and always ready to play with Her child.

And will you sometimes remember to stop playing, just for a minute, and to fold your little hands, and say, "Dear Mother Kali, let me see Your eyes!"

There is another game of hide-and-seek that the Great Mother plays. This is more like a fairy story. She hides sometimes in other people. She hides in anything. Any day you might see Her eyes, just looking into mother's, or playing with a kitten, or picking up a bird that had fallen from its nest. Under all these forms you may find God playing at hide-and-seek!

When there is something to do for someone--Kali is calling us to play. We lave that play. She Herself said once (She was hiding in someone, and He said it for Her). "Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these, My little ones, ye did it unto Me." Is not that like a fairy story! And what funny places She, the Great Mother, can hide in! Another time She said " Lift the stone, and thou shalt find Me. Cleave the wood, and there am I!" Did you ever lift a stone or break a piece of wood to see what was inside? Did you ever think that was God--at the heart of things? How beautifully Kali plays! You might find Her anywhere!

Does mother love baby when she is hiding from her? Why of course! else why should she hide? Even when her eyes are shut, is Mother loving baby? Why yes, see how she is laughing all the time!

And so with Kali. We need never he frightened, though Her eyes are long shut. She is laughing all the time. In Her own good time God will stop playing, and we shall look into Her eyes, and get away and away behind the world--straight "to the other end of nowhere," all at once.

So let us always run to play when we are called. Remember, little one, if any need anything you can give, your Mother is calling you to find Her! If anyone ask for something you can do, it is really Mother saying "Peep childie!" or when a new person comes for you to love, Kali is saying "Here am I!"

There is something else. You love mother and father and auntie and nurse, and--, and--. Of course you do. Besides, they love you, and they are all so good and kind.

But far far away, mother has a brother, a big brother, like Holl. Do you love him too? Why? You never saw him. He never played with you.

No, but mother loves him. And you love all the people mother loves--don't you dearie? And so we love all the people Kali loves. All the children She plays with, and the lambs, and the flowers, and the great trees, and the little fishes. She loves all these, and She loves too the stars in the sky. And so do we. For we are Her children, and everything that She loves we love too, because She is the Mother, and we cannot help it.

ARISE, My child, and go forth a man! Bear manfully what is thy lot to bear; that which comes to thy hand to be done, do with full strength and fear not. Forget not that I, the giver of manhood, the giver of womanhood, the holder of victory, am thy Mother.

Think not life is serious! What is destiny but thy Mother's play? Come, be My playfellow awhile,--meet all happenings merrily.

Murmurest thou of need of purpose? Think’st thou the ball is purposeless, with which the Mother plays? Know’st thou not that Her toy is a thunderbolt, charged with power to shatter the worlds, at the turn of Her wrist? Ask not of plans. Needs the arrow any plan when it is loosed from the bow? Such art thou. When the life is lived, the plan will stand revealed. Till then, O child of time, know nothing!

My sport is unerring. For that alone set forth on the day's journey. Think it was for My pleasure thou camest forth into the world, and for that again, when night falls, and My desire is accomplished, I shall withdraw thee to My rest. Ask nothing. See nothing. Plan nothing. Let My will flow through thee, as the ocean through an empty shell.

But this thing understand. Not one movement shall be in vain. Not one effort shall fail at last. The dream shall be less, not greater, than the deed. Thou shalt go here or there for some petty reason, and thy going shall subserve great ends. Thou shalt meet and speak with many, but some few shall be Mine from the beginning. With these thou shall exchange a secret sign, and they shall follow with thee.

And that sign?

Deep in the heart of hearts of Mine own flashes the sacrificial knife of Kali. Worshippers of the Mother are they from their birth in Her incarnation of the sword. Lovers of death are they,--not lovers of life--and of storm and stress.

Such shall come to thee with torch unlit, for fire. My voice cries out over the teeming earth for lives, for the lives and blood of the crowned kings of men. Remember that I Who cry have shown also the way to answer. For of every kind has the mother been the first, for protection of her flock, to leap to death.

Religion, called by whatever name; has been ever the love of death. But to-day the flame of renunciation shall be lighted in My lands and consume men with a passion beyond control of thought. Then shall My people thirst for self-sacrifice as others for enjoyment. Then shall labour and suffering and service be counted sweet instead of bitter. For this age is great in time, and I, even I, Kali, am the Mother of the nations.

Shrink not from defeat, embrace despair. Pain is not different from pleasure, if I will both. Rejoice therefore, when thou comest to the place of tears, and see Me smile. At such spots do I keep My tryst with men, and fold them deep into My heart.

Uproot every interest that would conflict with Mine. Neither love, nor friendship, nor comfort, nor home, may make its voice heard when I speak. Pass from a palace to plunge into the ocean of terror,--from the chamber of ease to stand guard in a burning city. Know that as the one is unreal, so also is the other. Meet fate with a smile.

Look for no mercy for thyself, and I shall make thee bearer of great vessels of mercy to others. Accept bravely thine own darkness and thy lamp shall cheer many. Fulfil gladly the meanest service, and leave high places unsought.

Be steadfast in the toil I set thee. Weave well the warp into the woof. Shrink from no demand that the task makes on thee. Feel no responsibility. Ask for no reward.

Strong, fearless, resolute,--when the sun sets, and the game is done, thou shalt know well, little one, that I, Kali, the giver of manhood, the giver of womanhood, and the withholder of victory, am thy Mother.

MOTHER! Far away, one whom I love is very sad to-day. His heart calls to mine for help, but though I tell him how I love him, I leave him still uncheered. How is it? I know he thinks towards me, I know I talk with him. Yet I long to see him, and hear him, and comfort him face to face!

My child, if this were not so, the sense-life would not be yours, or would not hold you. When you have reached that place where the communion of souls is enough, you will find that it is more than the knowledge of the senses, faith will already be swallowed up in sight.

But, oh Mother, what can I now do to ease this craving pain? I prayed for the vision of Râghunath and did not know that it meant torture multiplied a thousand fold. When one is in trouble oneself, one's own little world lies in gloom; outside, the busy feet pass up and down beneath the windows, the birds build nests, and the children play in the sunshine, as before: but the universe becomes all black when the beloved suffers.

Cease, My child, from inordinate affection. Give Me your heart, and let Me govern it alone. Be the witness of earth's joys and sorrows, sharing them not. Thus only can you keep yourself from entanglement, and attain to peace.

But peace for myself, dear Mother, why should I seek? How can I turn a deaf ear to his voice that calls me, adding another pang to the heartache of a life, and go away myself, and be at peace? Give him that inner peace! Let me win it for him, if Thou wilt be kind! But I cannot will to fail him in his need and loneliness, even to gain Thy blessing!

Ah foolish one! Every thought of love that you send out to answer his, becomes a fetter of iron to hold him in life's anguish. Hide you yourself in My heart, My child, and he, too, will come home to Me. For your love's sake, let your voice cease to be one with the voices of the world. Let it come to him only in Mine, when that is borne on the south wind at the time of sunset, calling him gently to worship at My feet. Let it be one with transcendent love, with infinite freedom. Only thus can you satisfy him. Only by withdrawing yourself can you bring him peace.

Mother! I yield. Take me, I pray Thee, into Thine own heart. Let me not look back. If Thou wilt call me I shall find my way there, surely, though my eyes now are blind with tears.

And for those I love, shall I trust Thy mercy less than I trust mine own?

Yet if at the last they seem to stumble, if the foot slip, or Thy voice fail them by the way, promise, dear Mother, once more to wake me from the dream of bliss. Cast me out from Thy heart, I beg of Thee, and let those who so need Thee, go in before to peace!

Silly, silly child! Like a helpless bird you beat your wings of littleness against My grace! Look up and laugh! For already the cloud that seemed so black is passing. Already the clasp of hands about the heart is loosened. Two souls draw the long breath of strength and relief. The feet of two who come to Me are shod with gladness. The hearts of two beat high, for the conquest born of renunciation.

Here is Akshay's own account of this first meeting: "Devendra and Dhirendra took the dust of the Master's feet, as usual, and took their seats. The humble author did likewise and the Master gave him a look full of compassion. What was there in that look, I do not know. It was beyond any description. The holy image of the Master entered his heart through his eyes and occupied it right away. That charming figure at once dazzled his eyes and mind and captivated his heart. Whatever had been left in the heart was cleared out by listening to the Master's sweet words. It was an invisible play, burglary in open daylight by breaking open hundreds of locks inside one's heart...All past remembrances disappeared in a moment, and I became completely oblivious of the world. I forgot my old self, a new current started flowing, a new being was born in my old body. The assembled people no longer seemed to be people, the houses ceased to be houses at all, and having lost everything old, it appeared as if I had entered a new territory and was moving forward in a dream. The story of the Master's glory has been chiselled in my heart. Where can I find adequate language to describe it?" Soon the kirtans began. Sri Ramakrishna burst forth into a rapturous song, "Behold, the two brothers have come, who weep while chanting Hari's name..." Intoxicated with divine joy, the Master began to dance, his face beaming with love and bliss. At times he went into samadhi and remained motionless, at other times he danced with great vigour. As the spiritual fervour reached a climax, Mahimacharan pointed to Sri Ramakrishna and exclaimed, "Here's our Krishna." Akshay, a Krishna devotee, felt deeply that the Master was verily Lord Krishna for whose vision he had been yearning for years.

#spiritual #spirituality

The students requested the Swami to hold a religious conversation instead of the class. He acceded to the request and spoke on what must have been the uppermost feeling in his heart at that time – Love – Love for the Lord and His children. He said: "The Bhakta is prepared to take any number of births and undergo all kinds of sufferings in order that he may serve and enjoy the presence of the Lord within and without.' The same night Swamiji left for Calcutta via Bombay. Six days of continuous travel took him to Calcutta. When he reached the Udbodhan Office the Swamis received him, and offered him refreshments. Declining all offers and unmindful of any other thing he went straight way to his beloved Gurubhai, a mighty Karmayogin and heroic Jnanin, lying on his death bed, waiting for the arrival of his dear Tulasi, a Bheeshma lying on his bed of arrows waiting for Uttarayana. The Swami approached him and announced himself. Slowly Saradanandaji opened his eyes and beheld the form of his beloved brother. Tears rolled down the eyes of both. What unfathomable depths, what infinite love; what exquisite spiritual forms did they see in each others eyes?

#spiritual

Sri Ramakrishna was gradually becoming conscious of the outside world.  Nilmadhav of Ghazipur and a Brahmo devotee were talking about Pavhari Baba.  Another Brahmo devotee said to the Master: "Sir, these gentlemen visited Pavhari Baba.  He lives in Ghazipur.  He is a holy man like yourself." The Master could hardly talk; he only smiled.  The devotee continued, "Sir, Pavhari Baba keeps your photograph in his room." Pointing to his body the Master said with a smile, "Just a pillow-case."

The Master continued: "But you should remember that the heart of the devotee is the abode of God.  He dwells, no doubt, in all beings, but He especially manifests Himself in the heart of the devotee.  A landlord may at one time or another visit all parts of his estate, but people say he is generally to be found in a particular drawing-room.  The heart of the devotee is the drawing-room of God.

#spiritual

The magnet was pulling the iron to itself. Aghormani felt a strong desire to visit the Master at the earliest opportunity. A few days later she again visited Dakshineshwar with some stale sweets purchased from a wayside shop. With great hesitation, she offered the sweets to the Master who savored them and said, "Well, you need not spend money for sweets. Prepare sweetened coconut balls and vegetable curries cooked by your own hand." Aghormani’s visits to Dakshineshwar now became very frequent. Her fascination for the Master, however, was a little shadowed by the puzzle why the Master talked to her mostly about food and not on spiritual matters. Sometime, she resolved not to go to him again but every time she found herself automatically dragged in the direction of Dakshineshwar. Thus, during the next three or four months she regularly visited Sri Ramakrishna, always carrying some of her culinary preparations, and the Master ate them praising, "Ah, how deliciously cooked! It is, as it were, very nectar." She always returned to Kamarhati with a tingle of joy lingering in her heart with an irresistible yearning for the next visit.

#spiritual

How emotional is the boy! Each day he can watch the same video... read the same book and cry the same way? Has he gone mad? He cannot decide anymore. He does not know if he hasn't matured or what? He does not enjoy movies nor places nor delicacies. They are all the same to him. At times he only feels oppressed by all the talk that surrounds him and how it is expected of him to talk in the same vein! He enjoys being absolutely free, not worrying about money -- emptying his purse, being left alone -- absolutely alone, he does not feel bored or tired. And there is only one thing that keeps him from making a bold decision and do what he has felt like being from ever since... it is the sense that he is not worthy of that, he is not convinced that he has the strength to make the move. He does not have greediness, It is attachment and desire for feminine company that causes everything else to spring up for him. When he first came across pornography he was deeply disgusted with himself but could not tear himself away from it. The mind was not developed enough to resist temptation by that time, it could not discriminate and hold its ground. And the social inhibition never let him take help from anyone. Although he tried, his efforts proved futile, he was no longer in control of his emotions. He spent nights awake and crying. It gives me a shudder even to remember those nights! He was desperate to change. The thing he devised was to start treating every women with great respect and faith. But porn never left him. He never tried with all his heart. He ensured that he would never think bad thoughts about any women, not even as much as try to touch them. They were sacred to him. But the time that was invested in having these traits robbed him of other normal experiences. He never learned to talk casual, to take things in perspective. He could neither express himself nor accept others.

Is he waiting for something to happen? No, he does not want to relish in past memories nor plan about the future -- now is the only life. What can he learn from outside till he hasn't started to respect and trust the Guru within? Nothing needs to be given up like he feels all the time -- if one clings to the One all that has to be relinquished will fall by itself. Anandmayi Ma says, “as if by compulsion the mind runs towards the gratification of desires that bring suffering... and again... No effort ever goes to waste -- then why all the practice, the concentration comes to no effect? That is because when there is a hole in a pitcher full of water, no matter how small it is all the water leaks away!” And she tells, “The fact that you are aware of your incapacity to concentrate on God's name is also His grace; even though not interested take the name as medicine -- This also will have good result.” Like Raman Maharshi's mantra "naan yaar" (Who am I?) She used to preach "ja hoye jay"(Everything is God's will).

#spiritual

How often do we realize how very privileged we are? That we are all unique and there is little sense in comparing with  others.. not knowing that we do not necessarily need anything external to be happy? If we merely tell ourselves that we need only little for ourselves we will be filled with satisfaction. We are most happy when we make someone else happy. Never mind anything. Never get angry. Never loose heart. Always be cheerful. Always be hopeful. Always be thankful for what you have got and live in the present, live in this moment.

#heart #moment #satisfaction #spiritual